Introductions

A request, then a first message

Two things, both live. First, the request Lux sent Rafa after the new-to-this workshop, as he receives it. Then a first message from Dev to Gabe, and what Gabe can choose to share.

One · the request

Lux asks Rafa

Rafa came to the new-to-this workshop. Lux asks whether he would like to be listed in the community. This is the Kindling handshake §5.2: nobody is listed without saying yes §5.1.

From: Many Moons, for Lux Moreno
To: rafa-okoye.carrd.example
Sent: 24 September 2026
Lapses: 8 October 2026, after 14 days

Lux would like to list you in Many Moons: Harbor Counties.

What it’s for: A community for people who practice consensual non-monogamy, or are learning to, in the harbor counties. Friends first, dating when both people want it. Describe how you practice in your own words. Nothing here tells anyone who you are dating.
Who’s asking: Lux Moreno, they/them Signed in with OAuth. You met at the workshop.
Who can see it: PublicAnyone who reads the Pool
Anyone can read this list, including people who know you from work or from family. If that is too much right now, say no; you are welcome at every social either way.
What it shows: Rafa Okoyehe/himEmail verified
New to non-monogamy with my partner of six years. We are reading everything and would like to meet people who have done this kindly.
non-monogamyfriendship

Your page, as you wrote it. Your partner is not listed because you are. They would say yes for themselves, or not at all.
Leaving: One button, from any message. You are off the list in under a minute.
What it costs: Nothing, now or later.

Waiting for your answer14 days left

There is no hurry. A no is remembered, and Lux can’t ask again unless you tell us they may.

Behind the scenes

These buttons play the other side, and the clock. Nothing is sent anywhere.

The Pool sent a handshake request.

The log, and the exact JSON

2026-09-24T19:00:00Z

The Pool sent a handshake request.

{
  "schema_version": "0.1",
  "type": "handshake-request",
  "handshake_id": "hs-many-moons-harbor-counties-rafa-demo",
  "pool": {
    "url": "https://manymoons.example/pools/harbor-counties.json",
    "name": "Many Moons: Harbor Counties",
    "charter": "A community for people who practice consensual non-monogamy, or are learning to, in the harbor counties. Friends first, dating when both people want it. Describe how you practice in your own words. Nothing here tells anyone who you are dating.",
    "curator_identity": "lux@mail.example",
    "curator_verification": "oauth",
    "intent_tags": [
      "non-monogamy",
      "community",
      "friendship",
      "dating"
    ],
    "visibility": "public"
  },
  "profile_url": "https://rafa-okoye.carrd.example",
  "sent_at": "2026-09-24T19:00:00Z",
  "expires_at": "2026-10-08T19:00:00Z",
  "accept_url": "https://manymoons.example/handshake/hs-many-moons-harbor-counties-rafa-demo/accept",
  "decline_url": "https://manymoons.example/handshake/hs-many-moons-harbor-counties-rafa-demo/decline"
}

Two · a first message

Dev writes to Gabe

Dev and Gabe talked at the September social. Both are on Harbor Counties. Gabe takes messages only from people in a Pool with him, and Dev picks which Pool carries the first message.

Dev’s screen · a first message

To Gabe MorrowSigned in with OAuth

Through:

Allowed. Gabe takes messages from people in a Pool with him, and they are both in Harbor Counties (§7.2 pool-mates only).

Hi Gabe, It was good to talk at the September social. I would like to get coffee sometime, as friends to start, and more later if we both want that. I am a relationship anarchist, so I will say plainly what I am hoping for as we go, and I would like you to do the same. No rush on a reply. Dev

Gabe’s screen

Nothing yet. Dev has not sent anything.

What Dev can see of Gabe’s household

Not here

Nothing. The Orchard Street Household is unlisted: it is not in our discovery file, the Harbor Counties list does not mention it, and it is in no registry. Nothing tells Dev it exists. It becomes visible to Dev only if Gabe shares its address.

The messages, as JSON

Nothing has been sent yet.

Sample files, validated against the schema: Dev’s first message, Gabe’s reply with the address, and without it.