Many Moons · consensual non-monogamy in the harbor counties
Friends first. Dating when both people want it.
Many Moons is a community for people who practice consensual non-monogamy, or are learning to. We run a monthly social and a few workshops, and we keep a list of people who said yes to being on it. Relationship shapes differ, so here each person describes how they practice in their own words.
Being listed is free, and so are introductions. Tickets to the socials and workshops pay for the room.
What it is, and what it isn’t
A room full of people who get it
Most of us came here tired: of explaining ourselves, of apps built for one shape of relationship that treat every other shape as a setting, of being shopped for. So we kept it small and plain.
What it is
- A community, run by two people you can meet. Lux Moreno and Søren Aalto organize. Both are on the list, and both answer their own mail.
- Socials and workshops, in person. In Port Ellery, most months, for people who practice consensual non-monogamy or are learning to.
- A list of people who said yes. Each in their own words, with their verification level beside their name. Friends first, and dating when both people want it.
- A place to ask. If you are new to this, you can write to the organizers, come to the new-to-this workshop, and meet people who have done it kindly.
What it isn’t
- Not a hookup app. Nobody here is a profile to flick past. There is no swiping, no feed and no algorithm deciding who you see.
- Nobody here is anyone’s “unicorn”. Couples do not come here to shop for a third. Everyone is a person first, introduced as one.
- Not a record of who is with whom. Being listed says nothing about anyone else. A household is shown only if every person in it says yes.
- No tricks. No paid boosts, no paywall on who is interested, no streaks, no countdowns, no “someone viewed you”. What we do instead: a list in the order people said yes, and two organizers who know the room.
How being listed works
Five steps, in this order, every time
Stepi
Come to something
A social or a workshop. You do not need to be listed to come, and most people come a few times before they are.
Stepii
Write your page
Wherever you already keep one: a personal site, a doc, a one-page profile. Say how you practice in your own words. “Solo poly.” “Nesting partner to Gabe.” “Relationship anarchist.” “New to this, with my partner of six years.” Whatever is true for you.
Stepiii
Say yes, or no
Lux or Søren sends you a request that says which list, who is asking, who can see it and how to leave. You say yes, or no, thank you. A no is remembered, and they will not ask again unless you tell them they may. You can also ask to be asked.
Stepiv
Be listed, in your own words
Your entry is your page as you wrote it, with your verification level beside your name. Your partners are not listed because you are. Each person says yes for themselves.
Stepv
Leave whenever you like
One button, from any message. You are off the list in under a minute, your page stays yours, and nothing else changes.
Your words, not a setting
There is no relationship-status field here, and no list of shapes to pick from. Your entry says what your page says. These are the words people on the list use today:
non-monogamysolo-polyrelationship-anarchyfriendshipdatingcommunityhousehold
Tags are free words each person chooses §2.4. We add none, and we rank none.
Who can see it
PublicAnyone who reads the Pool
The Harbor Counties list is public: anyone can read it, including people who know you from work or family. If that is too much right now, say no. You are still welcome at every social.
Socials and workshops
October in Port Ellery
Fri2 Oct
The monthly social
First Friday, 7 to 10 in the evening, upstairs at the Harbor Grange on Water Street. Lux and Søren at the door. Come alone, come with anyone, leave when you like.
Sun11 Oct
Solo Poly Supper Club
Second Sunday, at Søren’s. For people who practice non-monogamy without a nesting partner. Friendship first.
Sat17 Oct
New to this: a workshop
An afternoon with Lux for people opening a relationship, or thinking about it. Agreements, jealousy, calendars, and how to be kind to the people your partner loves. Come alone or together.
Sat24 Oct
Saying what you want
A shorter workshop with Søren: asking for what you want and hearing no without it costing anything.
Where the money comes from
Tickets to the socials and workshops pay for the room, the coffee and the printed reading list for newcomers. Tickets are pay what you can, and nobody is turned away.
Being listed is free. Introductions are free. Nobody pays to be seen, to see who is interested, or to be introduced, now or later, and nothing here sells ads. Lux and Søren are volunteers.
That follows Kindling, which charges nothing at the connection layer §1.3.
At every event
Name tags have room for pronouns. A no is a whole sentence. Nobody is introduced to anyone without asking both people first.
Why this couldn’t exist inside a closed app
The pool is a commons here
An app for finding people is only as good as the people already in it, and that effect is local: the biggest pool in a town wins. So one company comes to own most of it, and a new app, however kind, opens empty. Worse, the operator earns while you are still looking, so its interests run against yours. That is where paid likes, rationed attention, boosts, streaks and fake urgency come from. People are worn out, and friendship never even got its own infrastructure.
Many Moons is built on Kindling, an open protocol. Your profile is your own page. Our lists are open files, called Pools, that anyone can host and any app can read, with your yes. So we opened with the people who already come to our socials, and you can leave without losing anyone. Here is what that makes possible, concretely.
Every shape of relationship · §3.2 visibility · intent tags
Out in one room, private in another
A closed app gives you one profile and one privacy setting, and its idea of your relationship is a field in its database. Mae is on our public list, and on an unlisted one somewhere else that nobody here can see. Each Pool is its own file with its own visibility, and being in one says nothing in any other.
Mae Castellano’s own screenWho can see which part of meSigned in with OAuthSee it as:
Pool Phase Who can see she is in it Many Moons: Harbor Counties this sitemanymoons.example · kept by Lux Moreno Public Anyone who reads the Pool Friday Subsferryroom.example · kept by Lena Brightwater Public Anyone who reads the Pool Start a Band: Port Elleryferryroom.example · kept by Oswaldo “Ozzie” Reyes Public Anyone who reads the Pool Queer Harbor: Datingqueerharbor.example · kept by Dee Okonkwo Unlisted People who have the address Her own screen. Only she sees all of it, because only she said yes to all of it.
This is Mae’s own screen, drawn from the requests she said yes to. On a real site it would exist only in her own app; we show it because she is invented. Her page, maecastellano.bandcamp.example, is public, and it is about drumming.
People, not a ranking · §4.4
Organizers who know the room, and no score
A closed app decides who you see, in what order, and sells you a better place in line. Our list is in the order people said yes. Lux and Søren can vouch for someone they know, and that vouch counts on our list and nowhere else. One honest gap: partners and metamours often know each other best, and in Kindling v0.1 they cannot vouch unless they curate the Pool. How one household works around it.
Safety that travels · §7.3
Someone removed elsewhere is filtered here too
A closed app’s ban list stops at its own walls. Our Pools read two shared block lists: Kindling’s own, and the one kept by the Circular consortium, whose members propose entries and need two others to second them. When another community removes someone for a consent violation and the list takes them, they are filtered here the next time we read it.
Leaving costs nothing · §5.3 · §2.5
Your page stays yours
A closed app keeps your profile, your photos and your contacts, so leaving means starting over. Here your page never moves, we store no photos, and leaving any Pool is one message that takes effect in under a minute. That includes leaving a household’s Pool. Watch Anouk leave hers.
The organizers
Lux and Søren
organizersince 2 Nov 2025
Lux Morenothey/them
Signed in with OAuthOrganizer at Many Moons. Runs the monthly social and the new-to-this workshop. Polyamorous for twelve years and still learning.
organizersince 2 Nov 2025
Søren Aaltohe/him
Signed in with OAuthCo-organizer. Solo poly, a teacher, and the person who remembers everyone’s name at the social.
Write to both at organizers@manymoons.example. Both take messages from any verified sender, so you can write before you are listed.
Ask to be asked
Tell us where your page is
We never add anyone. If you would like to be on the list, tell us where your page is, and Lux or Søren will send you a request you can say yes or no to.